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Is There room in your Life for a Relationship? Achieving Balance
Are you described as a workaholic by others? Do you have a schedule that fills 16 hours a day with work and "must do" personal tasks? Do you feel too tired or just too overwhelmed to even think about dating or even scheduling social time out with friends? Do dating or trying to meet someone seem like a low priority, since the time and energy they take never seem to return your investment with desired results? Are you just too busy with more important things at this time in your life?
If you answered yes to any of these questions; it is probably time for you to take a break from your busy life and reflect on how well your needs and wants (in general) are being met. Do you feel satisfied with your friendships and social supports? Does it feel like something is missing? Do you have thoughts that reflect on things not being as you thought they would be? Do you look around you at others' relationships and wonder why it isn't just happening that way for you? Do you feel sad, envious and hopeless about your chances for a long term, committed relationship? Do you feel like you are trying so hard to do everything right (the way you were taught), but are just "not happy".
Chances are that you answered yes to a number of these questions. If so, your answers point to a lack of balance in your life. You probably have work that fulfills you, and most likely the financial security that results from success in work; so your basic needs in this area are being addressed. But what about your requirements for love, companionship, sharing and true intimacy? Where are these being addressed? Without these, you will never be fully complete and able to experience the joy that results from intimate connectedness with others.
Putting your life into balance will require making conscious decisions about prioritizing your use of your available time, energy and other resources. For instance, you will need to set limits on the amount of time you spend at work and on household and other "necessary" tasks. You will need to learn to ask yourself if this really is a priority. You must learn to plan and schedule down time, time out with friends and time to create new and rewarding interests and relationships.
Once you have learned to do this, you will open yourself up to ALL that life has to offer.
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Toni Coleman, LCSW
© Copyright 2008 Antoinette Coleman. All rights reserved.
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