The Art of Intimacy
A Newsletter for those seeking relationship help.

Welcome

With the arrival of Memorial Day came our ?unofficial? start to the season. It seems that people everywhere are looking for activities and events that allow them to spend time outdoors and ?play? with like minded others. There?s just something about the summer that brings the child out in all of us and helps us to let down our defenses and open ourselves to new experiences. What a great time of the year to fall in love. I haven?t seen any statistics on this, yet I can?t help but think that more people meet their significant others during this season of love. I know I did- at a beach house of all places.

If you haven?t made any summer activity plans yet, now is a great time to start. Consider a ?staycation,? where you take a week off and explore your own hood- checking out new places, enjoying the sights like a tourist and finding restful activities to help you get into that summer zone. If you are looking for inspiration or ideas, check out my article on this topic at: http://www.consum-mate.com/newslets/04apr.htm#feature

This month?s article is about using social networking to help connect with new and like-minded others and perhaps meet that special someone. If you are feeling in a rut, a good tweet might be just what you need to spring into action. Whether or not you have a presence on one of these sights already, there are always new things you can learn to help you become a more effective networker, which will open the door to new friendships and perhaps a new love.

If you need more specific help with developing your networking skills, consider coaching. I offer assistance from one session up, depending upon your needs. Check out my services at http://www.consum-mate.com/services.htm

I also offer eclasses that provide tools for developing relationship readiness, meeting and dating help and communication skills. These can be found on: http://www.consum-mate.com/eclasses.htm

For help with your online profile, email me at Toni@consum-mate.com

Whatever your life changing needs may be, we can help you to fulfill them at Consum-mate.com

A big thanks to all of you for subscribing to this newsletter. Consider forwarding it to a single friend or loved one.

Quote of the Month

"The way of the world is meeting people through other people."
-Robert Kerrigan

Featured Article: The SocialNetworking- Active Single

Most or all of you have at least some knowledge of online social networking. Perhaps you have signed up for a site or have a fairly strong presence on more than one. Either way, you may know that three of the most well known are MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter. There are many others as well, and depending upon your age and interests, you may want to go online and check them all out. The only word of caution that I will offer is that they can be both very time consuming and addictive. Therefore, consider looking them over and checking to see which ones are most popular with your friends and peers, then choosing only 1 or 2 to start. I do recommend twitter for its streamlined and easy to use format and great popularity.

Once you have become a member of a site, spend some time getting acquainted with it. Many sites have a lot of features that users never touch because they don't even know of their existence or haven't spent the time to learn about them. Try setting aside one-half to one hour a day learning about the site, finding friends and posting/responding to posts. Many people go online during daytime hours, but be careful that your company does not have a policy prohibiting this or access to the information in your workplace computer.

If you are already "networking active," you may want to consider making changes to your pages, working on your posting style and content, and/or getting more proactive in how you network. People are using these sites for personal and professional purposes, and if you are single--you could create a page that helps you build professional contacts and connect with new and like-minded singles. There are articles and workshops springing up that help people to use these sites more effectively. At the very least, consider doing some reading on this topic as well as observing how successful online networkers do it.

Think carefully about the pictures you post and the information you choose to share. More and more employers and schools/institutions of higher learning are going online to social networking sites and using them to screen out potentially problem people. Perspective dates will also look you up to see if you really are who you say you are and/or to learn more about you. Don't put any information out in cyber space that you wouldn't want you family to see. If you do decide to delete something, remember that it will be difficult to erase it forever. The viral nature of cyberspace releases your information to anyone who wants to pick it up and copy or transmit it. However, the sooner you act to erase something, the less likely it will be seen by others.

Remember that this is social networking. Think of a site as a big room full of people you don't know, but would like to. How would you approach this? Would you stand up on a chair and shout out your feelings or utter random comments about yourself, your interests, etc? Or would you try to connect first with one or two people by commenting on something they said or asking a question that leaves an opening for them to respond and connect? Come up with an approach that works for you and stick with it. Remember that it is OK to decline friend requests and delete friends who behave inappropriately or create any discomfort for you. There are also options to keep your page private, however this will keep potential new friends from being able to read your profile and decide if you are someone they would like to get to know.

As your list of friends grows, their friends will also come into your orbit. It is not uncommon for a fiend of a friend to send you a friend request, or for old classmates and childhood friends to find you through a mutual acquaintance. Be open to the possibilities, clear about what you are looking for, and responsive to the postings of others. You could develop a rich virtual social network that could lead to new real time friendships and/or a new love.

End Notes

When I wrote this month's article, I was thinking about how technology has impacted the world of meeting and dating. The old networks of community, house of worship and friends/family have been impacted by the transitory nature of the world we now live in. Yes, you can still meet compatible others through traditional networks, but using only these could greatly limit your chances of building a truly satisfying social/dating life. If any of you haven?t dipped your toes into social networking, now is a great time to start. If so, take another look and see how you may be able to utilize this resource more effectively.

As always, I love to get feedback on how useful my article is, any stories connected to your use of the information or any viewpoints that may differ from mine. Feel free to send your comments, feedback, stories to Toni@consum-mate.com
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CONTACT INFORMATION

Toni Coleman, LCSW
Consum-mate.com
Phone: 703-847-1768
E-mail: Toni@consum-mate.com
Web: http://consum-mate.com

© Copyright 2008-2015 Antoinette Coleman. All rights reserved.

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