WELCOME

It's hard to believe that we are in mid summer already. Have you taken time yet to watch the fireflies come out and dance through the trees or to sit transfixed by the sunset- watching the light fade past the horizon while the moon rises and sheds its ghostly glow? If not, consider slowing down and taking a little time from each day to be in the moment- whatever that may be. We are always in such a hurry to get there that we miss the simple pleasures found in just being. Remember those "hungry years?" Aren't they the ones we will never forget?

This month's article was written to help you tune up your attraction and dating skills during this busiest of all seasons for love. What is it about summer that brings out the wild and carefree kid in us? If you are aching to find romance before the season ends, the following tips may help to inspire you and offer you an edge the next time you look across a room, down the beach or over at the boardwalk- and see an interesting someone that you'd love to meet.

If you need focused help with your meeting and dating skills, consider coaching. I offer assistance from one session up, depending upon your situation. You can view my services at: http://www.consum-mate.com/services.htm.

I also offer eclasses that provide tools for developing relationship readiness, more effective meeting and dating experiences and productive and satisfying use of communication. These can be found on: http://www.consum-mate.com/eclasses.htm.

Want to jazz up your online profile, get a new one written for you or get feedback on what is working/not working in your approach? Email Toni@consum-mate.com for details on how I can help.

If you are looking for articles that offer a lot of free dating help and advice, you can find these on: http://www.consum-mate.com/articles.htm. If you haven't clicked on our surveys, consider doing so. We are always looking for your input in order to provide what you need most. These can be found on:

http://www.consum-mate.com/survey.htm or http://www.consum-mate.com/site-survey.htm Whatever your relationship needs, we can help you to fulfill them at Consum-mate.

A big thanks to all of you for subscribing to this newsletter. Consider forwarding it to a single friend or loved one who may be in need of some relationship building advice.

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

Don't ever frown because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.

                  Anonymous

3. FEATURED ARTICLE: Tips For Raising Your Healthy Attraction IQ

Do you have an inadequate dating life? Do you encounter people of interest to you, but for one reason or another you can't make a connection with? Do you feel that you often attract the "wrong" type of person? Do you sometimes experience feelings of hopelessness due to a belief that there just aren't enough willing, compatible and/or available singles out there?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you may need some help with your attraction skills. After all, you know others who are meeting and dating successfully. So what do they know that you don't? They have learned how to get the attention of that interesting stranger and make a connection that leaves the other person wanting to know more.

The following tips will offer you insights and strategies that are sure to help you attract your "right" type of man/woman. As you read through them, think about your usual presentation and style of interacting and how it is (or is not) working for you.

*  Maintain a high awareness of your body language. Most of what we "say" to others is communicated non-verbally. Do you stand up straight and move with an air of confidence, or do you draw your shoulders together as you try to blend into the background? When speaking to someone, is your posture open and welcoming or closed and defensive? Remember that this mode of expression is the first impression you make.

*  Present with an open and appropriately warm and inviting facial expression. Good eye contact coupled with a smile tells the other person that you are interested in them. Without this positive message, others may fear rejection and move on.

* Be yourself. Never attempt to be the type of person you think will be most attractive to others. Not only will you come across as insincere, you will feel a discomfort that others around you will then experience and want to avoid. Showing your true best side can never be improved upon.

* Show enthusiasm for, and interest in, what the other person has to say. Start a conversation with questions about them. Never dominate the conversation or interrupt. Good listeners are very attractive. 

*  Share about yourself with confidence. Skip the negative comments, stories about your ex, or your thoughts on how much you hate your job. The first meeting should be a positive, getting to know you talk.

* If you are interested, let them know you'd like to talk and/or meet again. Just put it out there. The other person's response will tell you all you need to know.

If you suffer from depression or very low self-esteem, seek counseling as a way to resolve those issues first.  Or, if you need focused help with dating in general; consider a relationship coach who specializes in this. We are trained mentors and teachers who help you to address your specific issues and get the results you seek.

Remember, healthy dating leads to healthy and lasting relationships.

END NOTES

This newsletter was inspired by all the would be summer lovers out there. Are you one of the many singles who have regretted not taking that first step with an attractive (and seemingly) interested stranger? If so, do you remember thinking about all the things you could have said, would have said- but were afraid of looking foolish (or worse) rejection. The next time, arm yourself with the above tips- and go for it. Love could be a smile away…