"I will loose 40 pounds and work out at
least 4 days per week."
"I will
go back to school at night and find the perfect day job."
"
I want to meet and marry the man of my dreams and buy our first house
together by this time next year."
It's New Years again and many people are
thinking about what they would like for their life in 2006. So begins the
annual ritual of making promises and setting goals… If you are like the
majority of resolution-makers, you have a history of coming up with a
great list every December that energizers and inspires you in January and
is all but forgotten by March. Why is it that so many people start out
with great intentions, yet fail to achieve them, year after year?
The
reasons have to do with the goals themselves, the lack of a clearly
defined plan for implementing them and with a difficulty many people have
of staying the course when gratification may not be achieved for some
time. In a nutshell, we want it all, we want it to come easily and we want
it now. Sound familiar?
So, how do we go about effectively setting,
implementing and following through with those important yearly promises we
make to ourselves? The following are my best tips for 2006. They are sure
to get you on the right path and help keep you focused and determined
throughout the next twelve months.
- Don't attempt too many changes all at once.
Too often
people set themselves up for failure by setting the bar so high that it is
virtually impossible to reach. Then, when this becomes evident, it seems
the only path is to let go of something that was unrealistic to begin
with. Instead, come up with a list of one or two changes (additions) that
you would like to achieve. This will help to ensure that you have the time
and resources available for success.
- Come up with a concrete action plan for your
resolutions
This step is one of the most critical. You need
to break your goals down into objectives and under these, have action steps
laid out. In case you are unsure of what these are, they are the who, what,
when, where and how questions that must be answered in advance of
successful change.
An example of this would be to take a goal of
losing 30 pounds and breaking it down according to these questions. Your
plan would look something like this:
I will eat breakfast every day.
I will
walk one mile around the track every afternoon as part of my lunch break.
If I don't have enough time for both, I will adjust my schedule to have a
longer lunch or leave earlier in the day, etc. Or I will go to the gym 3
evenings a week directly after work and use the weights and the treadmill
for 45 minutes.
I will
plan to have no more than two desserts weekly. I will choose these in
advance and make them a part of my meal plan.
I will bring a healthy snack to work each
day instead of going to the vending machine on my break.
I will not eat in front of the TV. I will
sit at the table for my meals and not snack during TV viewing.
I will not
take out fast food more than 2 times per week. I will make a meal plan and
cook at least 5 times per week. It can be very simple and quick, but must
be prepared by me.
These arte only a few examples of action steps
for weight loss. You could also include things like using a personal
trainer, consulting a nutritionist or hiring a weight loss coach- to name
a few.
- Write down you
action steps and check them off daily.
Make sure you write your action steps
into your calendar and plan for them as you would for an appointment or
social engagement, etc. You will need to provide yourself with visual cues
until they become a daily habit and part of your comfortable routine.
Making
little notes to yourself and putting them on your medicine cabinet mirror,
fridge and/or other places you find yourself every day is a good way to
help keep you on track. You can write them as affirmations and praise
yourself for better living and for recognizing your own value and caring
well for your needs. Everyone can use a pep talk and this is something you
can provide to yourself until others begin to see evidence of the positive
changes you are making.
- Take it one day at a time
When we
look too far ahead of where we are now, we can get discouraged and
overwhelmed by a sense that it is too much and will take too long. All
change is a process and it happens with "baby steps." Living each day
better will result in better weeks, months and years. Try talking to
someone who has made a substantial and positive change in his or her life.
Ask them how they did it. I guarantee that part of their answer will
address the need to take it one day at a time and to not get discouraged
if yesterday you got off track. Each day is a new one, and you can pick
right up where you left off.
- Avoid all or nothing thinking
Not every
day will go as well as the one before. You may have many good days and you
work towards your desired goals. However, you will have moments, hours and
days when you feel discouraged, sorry for yourself, angry, frustrated,
etc. These will be your vulnerable times. Planning for them in advance
helps. If you can anticipate some rough spots, you can get your defenses
set up. For instance, if you know that your birthday is an event that
triggers sadness and perhaps dysfunctional behavior- talk with friends and
family and make a plan to spend it doing something you enjoy that is good
for you.
If you
have a bad day where nothing seems to go right, (join the crowd)- do your
best to stay on track. If you get off, beware of that false belief that
"all is blown now." That is the all or nothing thinking that will sabotage
your efforts at any real change and keep you from turning dreams into
reality.
Today is
the best time for putting your resolutions into action. So, sit down and
come up with no more than 2 that you would like to work on (for now.) Then
write these down with action steps under each one. Don't forget to answer
those what, when, where and why questions in advance. While you are at it,
allow yourself to think about the delicious changes that 2006 could have in
store for you.
